In the vocabulary of demotivation one can never forget the "layoff". Yes, nothing says demotivation like a good lay off. But let us forget demotivation for a moment and really explore how to say "SCREW YOU!!!".
Real pros can really make this meaningful. Lets discuss some of those special techniques.
1. Never call it what it really is. Call it a "Resource Action". Or a "rebalancing". The peasants will only really understand that they are meat for the grinder when you disassociate it from reality. I loved the term "right-sizing" - has a ring to it, like a blocked toilet trying to flush.
2. Layoff despite making a good profit. Made a "sustainable" profit? But sadly its not obscenely better than last year? Then clearly you have to make your workforce pay. Made 16 billion in profit but not more than the previous year? Then layoff. After all, you are a robot overlord.
2. Layoff experienced older workers. Do you have staff who have given you their all for most of there career? Are they nearing retirement? Remember that a layoff close to retirement really makes it awkward for them. Who is going to hire someone planning to retire? And by screwing them during this gap you can really say!!!" while they are between unemployment insurance and a fixed income.
3. Layoff women just returning from Maternity leave. Make that joyous new family and responsibility a time for doubt, fear, and stress. Despite making a profit you cut them just to show what a class act you are.
And remember, You are a meat Popsicle.
Monday, 17 June 2013
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