Why are so many people leaving? Do you care? Of course not. But you want to stem the tide since you are loosing money due to productivity lost by departing disgruntled employees. So what do you do?
You have an employee survey.
Now, don't get me wrong. You really don't care what the results are. What you want to do is show to the remaining knobs (re: suckers) that you "care". You don't care of course but you just need to fool them to think you do and that its worth staying so you can squeeze another pound of flesh from them to meet your quarter/fiscal results so you can profit from the uptick in stock.
So, you create a feel good caring and sharing (the Care Bears where laid off years ago) survey and circular file the results. I am sure you will get a boat load of angst. But again, why should you care? The results are worth less than a conservative voter suppression bill.
But what happens next is the real act (please do not read further if you are eating) . You generate a PR marketing worthy result document on an internal website about how employees feel empowered to help the customer realize their dreams. You gibber on incessantly about how the slaves feel the team spirit in the "New" organisation. And how we will all achieve success with the "New" organisation.
Has anything changed?
No.
Is the organisation still clueless?
Yes.
But the sheep you still employee may just be fooled to hang around another quarter.
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My Brain on Karate, security, and whatever...
